GRACEFUL

The  negative psychological impact of  isolating oneself  from others and  why diversity  is good for  communities.

by  Chinyere  Nwakanma Tues  01  June 2025 at  01:07 pm BST·15-min read

People  like  associating  with others, feeling  loved and  accepted by friends, family and associates brings good  health and helps to improve people's  mental health state. It actually  does make people  happy.  People  who have  that feeling of a  general  sense  of  acceptance and feel good personalities , achieve more for themselves and  society  and they live healthier lives. That is what most  artistes who latter  become famous and successful have, because  they love what they do, are confident, feel loved  and free to share  what they are doing with others, without that fear of  being condemned  or being told  to move away and go out of  circulation because they are not good  enough and subsequently pushed into a life of poverty or becoming mentally ill people due to  depression caused  by lost opportunities, friendships and professional  networks  and sometimes heavy financial losses  due to misinformation being spread  about them. Good networking is the key  to  selling  ones ideas  and products and  subsequently  becoming financially stable  which helps people to live  very good  stable happy lives. Successful people work to  bring joy to  others. Being joyful  comes from having good friends, professional colleagues, community friends  and family networks. There  are  lots to lose  when people are ostracized  from their own  networks of friends, professional colleagues  and families because of people  people who are  running mischief  around others . They make others  to lose the needed  shoulders  to cry on  when things  go  wrong and they make people  not to  have  no-one to share their joys with when they are celebrating. It is  an awful place to be. Such a  situation  can have a very negative   psychological impact on people  and  it is not good for the general mental wellbeing of communities . Sometimes  it  could have  very negative impacts on people's mental health, their  productivity  and their  general  well being. I've seen  what people  can achieve if  good knowledgeable  family members or friends   give   them good advice  on their  finances, marriages  and career  directions . Many  people  who have  not spoken to  their families  and friends  over years are the most unhappy people. Such situations arise when people  gradually  gets  left out from  family events  invitations, because they travelled  out of town, quarrelled  or  could not  agree anymore with those  who love them.  Suddenly they are  no longer calling  or asking after  their families  and then it becomes  the norm. The things causing family and community  quarrels are just minute  issues , that  bring people to those points of not answering phone  calls  from extended family members or friends because they  just want to stay away and alone over  hearsays  from people  who  do not  really  care  deeply about them ,who they will not see in few years to come  and who will never be there for them when they fell  sick or at  old age. It starts  by a desire  to stop associating  with people one love, due to little baseless gossips. This  is something that is  not good especially for the middle aged and elderly. Community  cohesion  is very  good  and  celebration times are what make  life great. Sometimes people  try to make others to feel ashamed of their own family members. Sometimes  you will  be surprised  at  people   who ask others not to be with their own families  just to take advantage of  them. They make others to feel  inadequate because of  their  own personal interests. They  make  the vulnerable to enter into shells making them to to become lost or  ostracized from society. It   starts  mostly  through people  fuelling unneeded  rumours  about others, making those  involved objects of insecurity, vulnerabilities  and they  end  them in psychiatric hospital wards , because of little foolish whispers  in  social circles and they feel  that  it is better for them  to stay  away from those who love them than integrate  with  them. But such  decisions  to stay away  is not good  for people's mental health as people  need love  and acceptance  to thrive as humans .A healthy society  is  a place where people feel loved  and  accepted, where  people come together to dance, clap and chat. A place where people relate  well without  having  a feeling  of not  being accepted .Even  on social media  which  is virtual sometimes  it is amusing when people's  names  pop  up  and  you are asked  to be careful  about them,  based on little  "misinformation" from the people circulating negative things  about others , based on pressured events. It  is good to stay  safe, but not away from innocent  friends and families,  but some  people  are going to extremes   trying to stop  people  from associating  with others.This is  unhealthy community and social packaging, due  to lack of  empathy, love and an understanding  by people  who have rigid views  about others  based  on  prejudice, with unneeded negative information being circulated about  ordinary people just  to feel  superior  due to childishness and some  people's  inabilities to move with the times is not helping societies. We are in a modern world , as the world  has moved on  with the  advent  of  the social  media  and  video mobile  phones .It amuses me that  some people  will  see others standing in front of them and they are looking for other negative  things to say  about them. Here  is someone totally innocent  and totally oblivious of any wrong and he is circulating  misinformation   about them, based  on bias  and  prejudice .Such  situations have  made so many people  to decide  to stay on their  own, rather than endure being whispered about by  strangers and when they meet  difficult  situations, they run into  depression and diverse  difficulties, because  the  networks  they need  to thrive  have been removed from them and they live  life enduring pain and hardship as they have become  socially ostracized by pride  and prejudice the sister. Some of the  young people  find it hard  to socialise  or even find  a partner  to  marry because of the  fear of others, which  has been rooted  into  them by  people  circulating rumours and lies  about others. And they leave people wondering  about their  single status , since they are handsome rich good eligible bachelors  and beautiful spinsters .And many who  have the negative tribal  indoctrinations engraved in them,do  miss out  on friendships and business networks as the internally  engraved  negative   teachings about others  ,have damaged their abilities to love and interact with others. They  become the ostracized  singletons,  who everyone is  trying to reconnect with people just to get them to find love.  Love  for them becomes  a mirage  conditioned  by society  and those they met  while  growing up. Such  situations  can be psychologically draining  and many people  are not married  today, because  the people  they met that love them were  removed by those around them. Sometimes  people  find all the would be partners brought  by their friends and  families not   suitable  for them. Sometimes it just one family  member  frowning  at someone brought  by a relative to  marry. It amuses  me that people  can actually ask someone they love to move away  because  another  person does  not like them.I  always  have this feeling  that they  really  did not  like the person  enough,  as no pressures  can break  up  true love.At the end of the day  when they  grow old past their marital  age,  they will  find  out that their families have moved on with their own lives  and they cannot redeem  the times lost or the lost love. Their  families leave them by error ,to be in lifelong search  for  love  and  someone to be with at old age ,which  is  a situation they will  face alone with all the future problems  associated with their  mistakes. And  such  situations  do actually  have   very negative impacts on people's well being  and mental health. Diversity and inclusion through interracial marriages  is beautiful. I have  scores of  people I  know,  who never  settled  with the people they love ,because their  families  did not approve of the  people  they  brought home. Such people  go through  serious life impacting traumas, because they had  to  say goodbye  to someone they truly love because of  family  pressures. I find it quite  amusing  that  parents  do succumb to the pressures  of letting their kids marry the wrong people, just because of interracial prejudice and acrimonies  based on race, leaving the people  they truly  love to  stay  lonely  all their lives, because of flimsy  excuses from people  trying to please their friends,  who will latter  move on and away into their own beautiful  lives. They want their  circle of friends  to accept who their  children are marrying, which is irrelevant to finding love. Such people go through life feeling the pain of  leaving their lost love and they always find their partners not good enough for them, leaving a gap  inside their hearts .You will see those ones marrying and divorcing many times and dating again,  trying  to find someone similar to the person they missed. I believe that it  is being insensitive to tell ones  children  to move away from someone they love and who  loves  and cares  about them ,who they will find true  fulfilment  with and  who will make them happy just because of some little  silly flimsy excuses , based on what irrelevant people feel  about a would  be union or will say.At the end of the day only few parents do live with their kids after marriage. I  still  find it amusing that  even with  our civilisation  such  scenarios  still  exists, with many being told  to desert love for  unneeded  societal pressures based on bias, folktales, pride and prejudice.  Diversity means  accepting others  despite  their  races and colour. Most  things people  do  in this  area , boils  down to trying to please others which  they will  latter find out that  it does not really matter  with time and age. True love conquers all things. Living in a multidiverse  neighbourhoods over years in London  have made me to understand that  the thin divide  between  the things that make us different is  not as wide  as we feel. But having  an understanding of who people are , will  help us to understand them, accept them and  get along with them. It baffles  me that  someone will not like others  simply because of race. That is having  a thin unreasonable  way of thinking which is not healthy for society. Not liking others because of race  is being myopic,  because  human beings  are not very different from one another, its  just people's  belief  systems based  on where  they were  born. And no one  has the ability to  determine  where  they will be  born, everything is done by providence. I believe London is doing well in the area of integrating  people  and it is  something that have kept  many people healthy  and feeling belonged  . Those causing  others pain by telling them that they do not belong, have failed to understand the love that transcends races and languages. But  any society  where  people  move  freely, interacts with one another  without  prejudice is  a very  healthy  society.  Parents  who  deny their children the joy of being with the people they  love because of race are making grave mistakes,  because  we are all the same products  of providence  and creation.